Don't expect Sunshine
From the Storm
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Yeah yeah, if you don't like poetry, then don't read it. :p
I will be probably posting a few poems up here every once in a while. If you would really like to keep up on my poetry, check on my xanga or livejournal.... it's full of stuff like that...

Also I apologize for the poor quality of these pictures. They had to be shrunk down quite a bit to fit on this page and to keep you from having to scroll all over the place. I will try to link them so you can click them and see full size versions. Sumimasen!

Bleed
Metaphoircally bled dry
Holding onto nothing...
Holding the shell of a form
That gave me such comfort.

No more tears to cry
I tried to, but they're gone.
Empty, I go on.

Something is there
For me.
I see the little light in my hands.
I own my life again.
It may not be amazing,
But it's MINE.

So hold onto the last rope
On the strands of my sanity.
I Love
I Love
I Love
again.

But it is still the same.

But I feel happy
For the first time in what seems like
So long ago....

There is no comfort
From those I betrayed
But only from
My own hands.

I Love you.

And somehow....
I am ok with that.
I am ok if you are happy without me.
I am ok, if you are happy.

So please, be happy.
Just make sure I know
Just make sure I am not lost in your life
your memory
your heart
and your love.
Scream
Can't you hear my screams?
I know that you can!
Please come back now!
Why do you abandon me...?

At home in the dark,
cold and alone...
I've lost my senses.
Didn't I just scream?

I can't remember...
Fake screams?
My emotions are not valid?
I'm not human anymore...?

I lost memory of this world...
When the world lost memory of me.
Noone cared though.
No one does care.

Blood runs down my back.
Something's been torn off there.
Why do I feel lost?
Why am I alone?

Lost in darkness....

I forget.

Dark Side of the Moon
I don't really know,
Nor understand
Exactly how it is I feel...

Strange as the dark side of the moon.

It's interesting
How different you really are
And how things fall away to reveal

The dark side of the moon.

Yet every night I wished
For something impossible
Instead of looking right in front of me,

There was the dark side of the moon.

Why couldn't I see
What I had in front of me?
Is it really as black as I thought

On the dark side of the moon?

Have you ever heard
Of such a silly thing
As the daughter of the gods

Who chose to live on the dark side of the moon?

Desert Rose
There was something to her exotic face,
Something in those dark eyes.
Somehow I was lost,
Remembering what the rain was like.

She made me believe in love again,
Just by walking by.
She never knew my name,
But I forgot I was alone in the desert.

Lost, so far from home,
I was stranded in such a strange land
Yet here was something familiar to my eyes.
Beauty.

Somehow I failed to speak with the wide eyed woman,
As she walked away that night,
And again I was alone in the Desert,
With the memory of a Rose.
Sad Melody
Darkened Angel,
please don't cry.
I can't stop your pain
And I don't know why.

Shredded wings
And bloodied feathers.
Broken hearts
And broken tethers.

A sad melody
Is all we hear.
Distoreted with pain,
Torment, and tears.

I wish you could fly
But you bind yourself down
In your own blood
You endlessly drown.

I reach out my hand
And beg that you take it.
Because without it
We both might not make it.

Your beauty and blood
Are all I see.
Your love and tears
Are all I need.

Darkened Angel
Hold my hand.
Darkened Angel
In Forsaken Land.

Darkened Angel
Hold me tight
Darkened Angel
Promised Night.
So this is how it goes
So this is how it happens
And this is how it goes
And this is what I expected
Yet you surprised me

And I can't stand that I could hurt you
And I can't take this pain in my head
And I can't let go of other people
So I can't move ahead just yet

Holding the idea in my head
Holding my thoughts inside
Holding the cards in my hand
Holding the peices on my side of the board.

Did you think this wouldn't happen?
Did you realize it was inevitable?
Because I knew that it would happen
Now I'm just not sure what to do.


Untitled

You mean so much to me
Your hand is so close
I could just reach...
No.

And I'll look at you
From the couch
And my heart will skip
A beat.

I'll sit here, on the computer
Thinking of what to say
The next time I see you.
I can't.

I worry too much
If it happens, it happens
And there's not much else
To it.

And I'll hold back a little
Since I'm not sure
And I can't say what will be
Today.


Waiting for a ring


A never ending wait
For you to pick up the phone
And I sit waiting patiently...
And I hang up.
You didn't answer, why would I wait?

The next day I called again
And I held on the line a little longer
And waited to hear your voice
And I hung up again.

I waited a week,
And picked up the phone.
I dailed your number,
But as I was about to dail
The last number,
I changed my mind.

And then I called the next week,
And waited for you to pick up.
And waited
And waited.
And I cried as I hung up the phone.

And then 3 weeks later,
I gave in and called
One
Last
Time.
And you picked up.
You sounded so happy
To hear from me
And suddenly
You and I were the most truthful
With each other
That we had ever been.
And I didn't want to hang up.

So I called
A lot
And you didn't mind
And you answered.

But what if I don't call anymore?
What if I call someone else?

I'll only end up calling you again.
That's how it always is...
Isn't it?

I'll call you later.
Katsy
Strange as it is,
Here we are again.
I look over and smile.
I remember why I love you so much.

Your wit is amazing,
You're so damn cute!
You have your independence,
And you still want to fall back on me...

My little sister
Is an amazing girl.
For those that don't know her,
I wish that you did.

Intelligent,
Precise,
Wise,
Yet naive...

I love her forever,
And let's add a day.
Bound through stars, we are,
Please don't forget that.

Above All
Pretend this moment will never end.
Pretend we'll always be more than just friends.
It's possible all we pretend will come true.
It's possible only if we both want it to.

Hold me tight, like you always do.
I'll promise not to let go of you.
I'll set aside every reservation and fear
If you swear we'll shed no more tears.

I think I've found you through it all
Into your arms I will always fall.
You've brought me back to life again
And then made my red blood run.

I had lost hope in all of this,
But it all came back with your beautiful kiss.
I see beauty in your eyes
I see it through your dark disguise.

I know you disagree, but you are my Angel.
There are secrets to me you may never tell.
I love your darkness, I love your veiw.
But above all else, I will always love you.
Me (Or Duality of Nature)
Fake fake fake
The world believes I am fake
Take take take
Some sees that I only take

They fail to see
How true I'll be
To those who truly care.
They never knew
How much I do
For those who are always there.

So many parts of me
Are simple human qualities
I fall easily to mistakes
They're not that hard to make.

The other side of myself
Has a darkness that it tells
I see faults in all but some
I rarely forgive anyone.

I'm torn inside,
I'm dark & light.
But most I hide
Behind the bright side.

Running and Hiding
Did you ever feel so empty
That you thought you forgot to feel?
Did you ever think that everything
Yes, EVERYTHING, was different now?
Nothing is sacred anymore,
And yet everything is.
Screaming so no one can hear,
And crying so quiet that
Everyone listens.
Feeling forsaken
And forbidden.
Forbidden to be happy.
Ever.
Goddess has a plan, and
That plan damns me.
I hate who I am.
I hate who I am destined to be
Forever.
Forever is a really long time.
Nothing but sorrow.
Nothing but pain.
I'm such a little wimp.
What a little wuss.
She cries a lot.
She whimpers to everyone.
Whining, and blubbering
When nobody cares.
Oh, she's not really hurt,
She just wants attention.
Poor poor Giselle.
Her life sucks,
Let's throw her a pity party...
I hate you.
I love you,
But oh do I hate you.
Self-Destruct
Do you really think I'm ugly?
Is that really what you see?
You only want to think that
So that you can hate me.

Is everything else around you
So badly destroyed
That you need to hurt me
So your own reality avoid?

Is all that I offer
Not nearly enough?
Love, friendship, compassion,
Instead of sex and drugs?

Live young and die fast,
Is that how it went?
Or live fast and die young?
It's all under the same tent.

I watch you destroy yourselves,
And helplessly watch you die.
I feel I'm living safe,
You think life passes me by.

Well, when we're all grown up,
And you've lost all these games,
We'll see where life got us,
And who has really gained.

Vampire's Requiem

It's haunting me,

That beautiful glow from your eyes.
I can't esape the pain I felt
The day that my lips were stained, and you died.

So sweet a sin

To look in your eyes, but never touch.
I could not profane such a pure thing.
I was so careful with you, but not enough.

A hunger arose,

Not able to keep myself from temptation,
I gave into it, destroying such a fragile being.
Wishing, within damning, you were the exception.

The day you died,

My heart failed, and died its second time.
I ran away to the hill. Our hill. Your hill.
Thet's where you lay now, victim of my purest crime.

It's raining today.

It reminds me of your eyes that sad day.
I had forgotten how beautiful human eyes can be.
I can't see them any more, I look away.

I will find a way.

Somehow I'll figure out how to bring you back.
I have eternity to find the answers I seek.
This is also an eternity for my soul to crack.

Your body crumbles.

How did I mange to break all the rules?
How is it that you affected me that way?
And why is destiny always so cruel?

I fell in love.

I believed in a forsaken love affair.
I believed we could change the rules.
I know now, since you lie on that hill, up there.

Sarcasm
You don't want to hear
You turn a cold shoulder.
I talk too much?
But you run to your soldier.

The endless amount
Of issues you have.
I have to help you
But that's only half.

Just because he's here
Doesn't mean I'm fine.
There's a LOT you don't know
But you don't have time.

So maybe I don't care
To tell you all the facts.
But if you're so perceptive,
Wouldn't you know this "crap?"

You don't pay attention,
You don't even care!!
I want to talk to you
But you're never there.

Hangout with other friends
Make up lame excuses.
Leave me to myself
So I feel useless.